The process vs. performance

Much of life is centered around what we "do." Whenever you meet someone, it's typical to ask them, "So, what do you do?" When you introduce yourself you may say something like this: "Hi, I'm _____, I'm an engineer (doctor, teacher, hairstylist) at ___." Sometimes I have a difficult time separating myself and my identity from what I do. I'm a mom, I volunteer at Lost Sheep Ministry, I'm an RN...but that's not really who I am. If tomorrow I became disabled and lost my children, and each of those titles slipped away...I would still be me. I would still belong to Jesus.

Excerpt from my journal last week: What if life is more about Him growing me, shaping me, working on the inside to make me who HE needs me to be, rather than being about what I do? What if the focus is on the process rather than the performance? That shifts my whole mindset. Instead of seeing each step with a specific goal/result, I can see each step I take (either forward or backwards) as part of the process of God's beautiful masterpiece. Instead of focusing on what career moves I make, I focus on seeking Him and following where He leads. I'm learning that His leading usually makes absolutely no sense when I look at it through human eyes, with a common-sense perspective.

But when I begin to follow Him step by step in faith, I am able to see a little more clearly. I am able to trust the small voice within my heart. I am able to do the things that don't make sense because I know Him. Because I know He works all things out for my good. Because I know that ultimately each choice I make with Him as my Lord will be used for His glory and to grow me however He sees fit.

It's not always easy. But childlike faith takes a lot of pressure off of me. I don't have to know all the answers. I absolutely can't give you my five year plan. I can tell you where I think He may be leading...but He tends to be a bit mysterious. And I like that.

I believe that God tends to prioritize the internal over the external. That is, the internal change over the external circumstances we pray so hard about. Because what we see now with our eyes is temporary..but what is within us is eternal. (2 Cor. 5:16) Get that kind of perspective, wrap your identity up in Him, and maybe what you "do" won't matter as much any more.