Snip. Snip. Ouch.

"He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree..."

Yup, I'm a tree. And it's pruning time. Snip, snip, snip. Ouch.

As we get closer to God and submit ourselves with all our desires and flaws to the Master Gardener, we encounter moments in which He has to remove the dead branches so that we can be healthy. It's hard, and it hurts deeply. But without His pruning we would never develop into people with character and integrity, among other things.

Lately I have been brought to a place of complete emptiness, with nothing else to do but cry out from the bottom of the pit for His mercy. Knowing I have hope, but still feeling hopeless. Knowing I have His love, but somehow feeling unloved. Feeling caught on the edge of a cliff with nowhere to go, either forward or back. It's a rough place to be.

I've experienced something really incredible in that place, though. There's nothing like sitting there in your despair and then feeling sleeeeepy, like God gave you a cup of warm milk and a tylenol PM. That's happened to me twice now, and it's the weirdest, coolest feeling ever. I think, whoa, this is what the peace that passes all understanding feels like. This is what it feels like to be carried in the arms of Christ. The weirdest thing is I don't ever realize it right away. It's not a quick fix, like "Jesus, I need You," and then, boom, "oh, ok that's better." It's subtle and slow, but ever so tangible. That's kinda His way though.

The pruning is necessary, and it hurts, but He has promised NEVER to leave me. And He always keeps His word. So as I continue to trust Him through the pain...as I hand Him my foolish little girl heart that is learning through trials...He holds me. He looks in my eyes and says "trust me. I have good for you. This is only a moment, but I have promised you to make you new. And I keep my promises."

So prune away, Lord. I choose You.