So tonight's blog is a little different. Usually I have a pretty good idea what I am going to write before I even sit down. Tonight, not so much. I have some unsettling thoughts regarding the treatment of Casey Anthony, and while I am kind of nauseated by all the attention the woman is getting, here she is, featured in my blog. Sigh.
So tonight on the radio, the DJ was discussing why everyone is so fascinated with her and this case. We are not ignorant enough to believe this is the only case of this nature. He said there has been at least 6 others this year in her county. So why her? Evidently she is reported to be the most hated person in America at the present. This, and the way everyone talks about her, ALL THE TIME, has bothered me, but I couldn't put a finger on why.
Then the DJ suggested something that gave me some insight: perhaps, as humans we are fascinated with these horrible people because they help us feel better about ourselves. "I may not be the best parent but I'm sure better than her!" Or on shows such as Hoarders or Extreme Couponers- "I may be disorganized but at least I don't have 100 cats, or live in garbage, or eat dirt, etc etc etc."
I hadn't thought about it from that perspective. It's true that most mocking is born out of insecurity. We put down others to feel better about ourselves, as a general rule.
But are we really morally superior to Casey Anthony because we aren't on a highly covered trial for murder?
In the book I am reading, Plan B by Pete Wilson, he describes it as "the list." In Luke 18:9-12, we can read the prayer of a Pharisee: "Lord, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get." You can visualize this man, puffing out his chest.
None of us admits to a list, or may not have ever consciously thought about it, but the list is there. You know, the sins that are really bad. The ones we don't ever commit. We point our fingers at the "bad" sins but overlook others.
Prideful is ok but just don't drink alcohol.
Greed is just fine, but don't be gay.
You can be unloving and stubborn, but don't ever think about having an abortion.
Please understand, I'm not advocating ANY of these sins. But having this list in our head, where we compare ourselves and come out winning, ultimately stunts growth spiritually.
"It's impossible to support and love one another if we can't admit the sins and struggles in our lives"- Pete Wilson, Plan B.
Recently I have been reading about Paul. He began his life as Saul, a super-educated, well-raised, well-to-do Pharisee. He is first found in the Bible as a supporter/participant in Stephen's stoning. He had the blood on his hands of many saints. He was bloodthirsty and self-righteous. He persecuted God's people, and consequently persecuted Christ. In spite of his past, he has a life-altering encounter with the Lord, does a complete turn around, and immediately begins to preach in the synagogues - saying "He is the Son of God." Acts 9:20
It is God's grace which enveloped and pardoned Saul, who was stoning and killing His children.
It is God's grace which welcomed the thief on the cross next to Jesus into Paradise.
And it is God's grace which is poured out onto each of us, every day, without us doing a thing to deserve it.
This same grace is big enough to cover Casey Anthony. We don't have to determine guilt. We don't have to know her heart.
Romans 3:23-25 says that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, being justified as a gift by His grace through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus; whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in His blood through faith. This was to demonstrate His righteousness, because in the forbearance of God He passed over the sins previously committed."
As followers of Christ, we are to allow Him to make us more like Himself. When we speak about things such as this court ordeal with those who do not know Christ, we are to be set apart. We are to express His love. If bitter, volatile things about a person are spewing out, that doesn't bring Him honor.
He must increase, we must decrease.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Imperfection
Today was rough. I haven't gotten enough sleep this week, and that always sets back my coping skills. But for some reason, since Thursday I have been extra irritable. Today was the peak of the "crazy mena cussing Mommy" behavior. And there really isn't a legitimate cause, no PMS or anything to blame. I have been very unhappy with myself because of my short temper.
I pray. I listen to Christian music. Trying anything to get out of the funk. When you are a teenager with mood swings, you can go listen to Fiona Apple and take a bubble bath. But when you are a mom...it's not so easily cured. There are little people around you, constantly talking to you, touching you, and demanding your attention. I think it unsettles my kids when I'm in a bad mood, it kind of spreads onto them. They get anxious because they don't know what's going on and start getting more hyper and seeking negative attention. And I get more and more frustrated.
I hate this.
I don't want to be this way.
Lord, help me. Do you hear me? You say we can do all things with Your help...but I'm not doing well at this parenting thing at ALL right now!! There's nowhere to run. There's nowhere to hide. There's no one to call on but You. Help!
This is pretty much been my train of thought through the last few days.
Luckily, I'm not alone! Paul says in Romans 7:15 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate I do."
It does bring some comfort that super-spiritual Paul was in the same boat. I was reminded that I am not expected to be perfect. I am rather young in this walk with Christ- why in the world would I think that I have "arrived"?? He still has tons to do to make me more like Him. Just because I'm closer now than I was five years ago doesn't mean it's smooth sailing from now on.
If my life was smooth and easy, I would be self-sufficient. I wouldn't need Him. I wouldn't need to call on His name for help a bazillion times like I did these last few days.
I wish people would stop saying "God will never give you more than you can handle/bear." This is found in Hallucinations 4:22. Seriously, it's NOT biblical. Not in His word, any where. Every example of individuals in His Word were given more than they in their lowly human state could handle, so that they would become fully dependent on Christ. Every person at one point or another will encounter that God frequently gives us more than we can bear. As a mom, most DAYS are more than I can bear. My life is really, really hard. And yet, it is nothing compared to many others. There are folks I know who are walking their preschoolers through cancer, or through rehabilitating from a spinal cord injury. People who have lost their job again after finally finding a new job. Millions are homeless from the tornadoes, unemployment, etc.
This world demands our dependence on Christ. And this brings Him glory.
Instead of pulling up my bootstraps and being tough, I bring Him glory by admitting just how much I need Him. I am helpless. I do not have any idea how to deal with my kids sometimes. None. I just want to cry. Yet somehow, He helps me through. And at the end of each day when they are sleeping in their beds, I remember just how much I love them, and just how sad I'm gonna be when they are grown.
I have to remember too; why would I beat myself up when Jesus, the only one fit to place judgement on me, has forgiven me so throughly? "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. " (Ephesians 1:7-8)
At the end of the day, there is Jesus, there is me, He loves me, and has a plan for me. That's what I cling on to. Does anything else really matter?
I pray. I listen to Christian music. Trying anything to get out of the funk. When you are a teenager with mood swings, you can go listen to Fiona Apple and take a bubble bath. But when you are a mom...it's not so easily cured. There are little people around you, constantly talking to you, touching you, and demanding your attention. I think it unsettles my kids when I'm in a bad mood, it kind of spreads onto them. They get anxious because they don't know what's going on and start getting more hyper and seeking negative attention. And I get more and more frustrated.
I hate this.
I don't want to be this way.
Lord, help me. Do you hear me? You say we can do all things with Your help...but I'm not doing well at this parenting thing at ALL right now!! There's nowhere to run. There's nowhere to hide. There's no one to call on but You. Help!
This is pretty much been my train of thought through the last few days.
Luckily, I'm not alone! Paul says in Romans 7:15 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do. But what I hate I do."
It does bring some comfort that super-spiritual Paul was in the same boat. I was reminded that I am not expected to be perfect. I am rather young in this walk with Christ- why in the world would I think that I have "arrived"?? He still has tons to do to make me more like Him. Just because I'm closer now than I was five years ago doesn't mean it's smooth sailing from now on.
If my life was smooth and easy, I would be self-sufficient. I wouldn't need Him. I wouldn't need to call on His name for help a bazillion times like I did these last few days.
I wish people would stop saying "God will never give you more than you can handle/bear." This is found in Hallucinations 4:22. Seriously, it's NOT biblical. Not in His word, any where. Every example of individuals in His Word were given more than they in their lowly human state could handle, so that they would become fully dependent on Christ. Every person at one point or another will encounter that God frequently gives us more than we can bear. As a mom, most DAYS are more than I can bear. My life is really, really hard. And yet, it is nothing compared to many others. There are folks I know who are walking their preschoolers through cancer, or through rehabilitating from a spinal cord injury. People who have lost their job again after finally finding a new job. Millions are homeless from the tornadoes, unemployment, etc.
This world demands our dependence on Christ. And this brings Him glory.
Instead of pulling up my bootstraps and being tough, I bring Him glory by admitting just how much I need Him. I am helpless. I do not have any idea how to deal with my kids sometimes. None. I just want to cry. Yet somehow, He helps me through. And at the end of each day when they are sleeping in their beds, I remember just how much I love them, and just how sad I'm gonna be when they are grown.
I have to remember too; why would I beat myself up when Jesus, the only one fit to place judgement on me, has forgiven me so throughly? "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. " (Ephesians 1:7-8)
At the end of the day, there is Jesus, there is me, He loves me, and has a plan for me. That's what I cling on to. Does anything else really matter?
Saturday, July 9, 2011
This one goes out to my Mama!
Today I was talking about the world with my Mom. Specifically, how when really horrible things happen, it's hard to see God's purpose in it. It's easy to feel down, perhaps angry at God, and wonder what's next. I often feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop- if God could take my husband, why not something else? And yet, the fact remains that despite what WE see, He is the God who SEES and He loves us. He has a plan. I was listening to some music tonight, and I feel like these two songs say it better than I ever could. So Mom, this is all I got!
"How He Loves Us"- Jesusculture
He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.
Yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves.
So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way
That he loves us,
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves
He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves
"Your Love Never Fails"- Jesus Culture
"How He Loves Us"- Jesusculture
He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.
Yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves.
So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way
That he loves us,
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves
He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves
"Your Love Never Fails"- Jesus Culture
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Obedience
I was thinking yesterday of how people often say, "I just wasn't happy" when they want to go off and do things their own way. Usually this is said because of a way of thinking in which we believe that we deserve to be happy, or that God certainly wants us to be happy. While I'm sure God rejoices with us when we rejoice, our happiness is absolutely not his top concern. Our character, who we are and become in Him, is more of a priority.
We are supposed to consider it joy when we face trials (James 1:2) because that is how we develop character. Note that it also says WHEN, not if. As in, the trials will come whether we want them to or not. The people in the bible that earned favor from God: David (who really wrecked things up with Bathsheba), Job (who lost just about everything), Samson (who told Delilah at least one thing he shouldn't have), Paul (persecuted and put in prison). There is many more, but my point is this: these people may have had moments of happiness, but that was never the main theme of their testimony. They experienced heartbreak, frustration, and loss. Yet they were obedient to the Lord.
David in particular tried to cover up one sin with another. First he committed adultery with Bathsheba, then, to cover it up, had her husband killed. Like God wouldn't notice. Pay attention, here, so that you can prevent some of the heartache of making a bad situation worse: OUR WAY DOESN'T WORK. When things aren't working out right, and we decide that instead of following His plan, we are going to do our own thing, it leads to nothing good!
The sports part is this: think of a quarterback. He has a difficult job, but one that is made easier by the fact that he answers to the coach. The coach knows each player's abilities and weaknesses. He can see from a different perspective how things will play out on the field, and what the outcome will be. The coach takes all the information and makes a call for a certain play, and the quarterback is obedient to that and follows through.
If the quarterback says, "Gosh...I don't think that's gonna work out so good. I think coach isn't really paying attention today. I'm gonna do it my way" will that work out very well? My thought is no, because he doesn't have the same perspective and info that the coach does. Every amazing quarterback (yes, ladies, Tim Tebow! lol) is good at what he does because he has skill, but even more importantly obedience and faith in the decisions his coach makes.
That's what we do, as followers of Christ. Get the signal and follow through. Be obedient to what He tells us to do. Jesus Himself gave an example of obedience: He humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross! Phil. 2:8
If He could do that, what is there that we could not be obedient to? It's not easy: one look at toddlers and you realize we come out of the womb defying the very thought of obedience. But over time, this practice of obedience becomes habit, and brings peace. The peace and joy that He gives as a reward of your obedience to Him, in my opinion FAR outweigh temporal happiness. I don't want simply to be happy here. This isn't my home. I want to be filled with His fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Amen?
We are supposed to consider it joy when we face trials (James 1:2) because that is how we develop character. Note that it also says WHEN, not if. As in, the trials will come whether we want them to or not. The people in the bible that earned favor from God: David (who really wrecked things up with Bathsheba), Job (who lost just about everything), Samson (who told Delilah at least one thing he shouldn't have), Paul (persecuted and put in prison). There is many more, but my point is this: these people may have had moments of happiness, but that was never the main theme of their testimony. They experienced heartbreak, frustration, and loss. Yet they were obedient to the Lord.
David in particular tried to cover up one sin with another. First he committed adultery with Bathsheba, then, to cover it up, had her husband killed. Like God wouldn't notice. Pay attention, here, so that you can prevent some of the heartache of making a bad situation worse: OUR WAY DOESN'T WORK. When things aren't working out right, and we decide that instead of following His plan, we are going to do our own thing, it leads to nothing good!
The sports part is this: think of a quarterback. He has a difficult job, but one that is made easier by the fact that he answers to the coach. The coach knows each player's abilities and weaknesses. He can see from a different perspective how things will play out on the field, and what the outcome will be. The coach takes all the information and makes a call for a certain play, and the quarterback is obedient to that and follows through.
If the quarterback says, "Gosh...I don't think that's gonna work out so good. I think coach isn't really paying attention today. I'm gonna do it my way" will that work out very well? My thought is no, because he doesn't have the same perspective and info that the coach does. Every amazing quarterback (yes, ladies, Tim Tebow! lol) is good at what he does because he has skill, but even more importantly obedience and faith in the decisions his coach makes.
That's what we do, as followers of Christ. Get the signal and follow through. Be obedient to what He tells us to do. Jesus Himself gave an example of obedience: He humbled himself and became obedient to death- even death on a cross! Phil. 2:8
If He could do that, what is there that we could not be obedient to? It's not easy: one look at toddlers and you realize we come out of the womb defying the very thought of obedience. But over time, this practice of obedience becomes habit, and brings peace. The peace and joy that He gives as a reward of your obedience to Him, in my opinion FAR outweigh temporal happiness. I don't want simply to be happy here. This isn't my home. I want to be filled with His fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Amen?
Monday, July 4, 2011
Content or contention
Sunday morning we discussed a verse in Hebrews (13:5)- Make sure your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you."
I have been working on this concept of being content for a few weeks. One day, I will feel satisfied and content, and feel that perhaps I have conquered my desire for "stuff". Haha. Right. The next day I have a ridiculous urge to go shop at Goodwill. Or I will be thankful for the time that singleness allows me to devote to God one day and desperately lonely the next.
Why can't I just be content? There's very little I truly NEED. And the Lord knows better than I do what I need and takes care of me. "These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but the Heavenly Father already knows all your needs."(Matthew 6:32)
I think the reason the scripture in Hebrews doesn't just say, "be content with what you have," is because it is communicating a bigger concept than simply avoiding the love of money. It is communicating His sufficiency. Be content with what you have, because I am with you. God is saying: I will never ever, under any circumstance, leave you, even if the world is crashing down around you and you feel utterly alone. Could you need anything else beside Me? Is there anything or anyone greater? Don't put money before Me, it is just paper. Don't depend on any one person, depend on Me. Rely on Me, lean on Me, and I will satisfy you.
His yoke is easy, and his burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30) What does that mean?? I have thought about this scripture a lot, because it really doesn't make sense sometimes. What I think it means is that when you throw away all the concerns of this world (that weigh you down and burden you), and you follow Him, your spirit can find peace and rest. The definition of contention is: an argument, rivalry or competition. Until we rest in the Lord there will be constant contention in our souls, because by not resting and trusting Him, we are essentially doubting His sufficiency.
He LONGS to be our provider, our everything. He is a jealous God (Exodus 20:4-5) and why shouldn't He be?? Being content under His hand, and resting in Him are things that take deliberate action, and require a daily commitment to choose Him (instead of our worries and fears).
As in all things, "apart from Him we can do nothing" (John 15:5), so instead of trying to use your own willpower to do this daily choosing, ask Him to help you be content and fully dependent on Him. (If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more then will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11)
This isn't something that will happen overnight, but being content is something that develops through perseverance in our circumstances. It will always be easier to be distracted by our concerns of this world. I want to be content today, and may have to make that choice several times in the same day as my fears pop up. Let's keep on striving toward that finish line!!
I have been working on this concept of being content for a few weeks. One day, I will feel satisfied and content, and feel that perhaps I have conquered my desire for "stuff". Haha. Right. The next day I have a ridiculous urge to go shop at Goodwill. Or I will be thankful for the time that singleness allows me to devote to God one day and desperately lonely the next.
Why can't I just be content? There's very little I truly NEED. And the Lord knows better than I do what I need and takes care of me. "These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but the Heavenly Father already knows all your needs."(Matthew 6:32)
I think the reason the scripture in Hebrews doesn't just say, "be content with what you have," is because it is communicating a bigger concept than simply avoiding the love of money. It is communicating His sufficiency. Be content with what you have, because I am with you. God is saying: I will never ever, under any circumstance, leave you, even if the world is crashing down around you and you feel utterly alone. Could you need anything else beside Me? Is there anything or anyone greater? Don't put money before Me, it is just paper. Don't depend on any one person, depend on Me. Rely on Me, lean on Me, and I will satisfy you.
His yoke is easy, and his burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30) What does that mean?? I have thought about this scripture a lot, because it really doesn't make sense sometimes. What I think it means is that when you throw away all the concerns of this world (that weigh you down and burden you), and you follow Him, your spirit can find peace and rest. The definition of contention is: an argument, rivalry or competition. Until we rest in the Lord there will be constant contention in our souls, because by not resting and trusting Him, we are essentially doubting His sufficiency.
He LONGS to be our provider, our everything. He is a jealous God (Exodus 20:4-5) and why shouldn't He be?? Being content under His hand, and resting in Him are things that take deliberate action, and require a daily commitment to choose Him (instead of our worries and fears).
As in all things, "apart from Him we can do nothing" (John 15:5), so instead of trying to use your own willpower to do this daily choosing, ask Him to help you be content and fully dependent on Him. (If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more then will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11)
This isn't something that will happen overnight, but being content is something that develops through perseverance in our circumstances. It will always be easier to be distracted by our concerns of this world. I want to be content today, and may have to make that choice several times in the same day as my fears pop up. Let's keep on striving toward that finish line!!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Playing by the rules
As a perfectionist who grew up in church..accepting the grace from God that cannot be earned was always a challenge for me. For example, I do a, b, and c, and then Jesus will love me and take care of me and everything will be great. The end.
Um..yeah. Doesn't work that way. Talk to Joshua, in the bible. Poor guy had one bad thing happen after another, yet he NEVER FALTERED in his integrity and devotion to God. If anyone earned grace or righteousness, it would have been him.
Also, clearly, this method didn't work out exactly for me, either. (see the P.S. below)
My devotion this morning was on the rules that we as Christians looove to come up with. Yet Jesus seemed to put higher regard on realness and honest devotion to Him. Think of the thief on the cross- he didn't have to read a brochure, or sign up for a class, or even be baptized- all we know is that in Luke 23, the thief asked Jesus to remember him once He got to His kingdom, and Jesus said "today you will be with Me in paradise." Done.
Think of the Pharisees, who displayed their spirituality on their sleeve to earn the pleasure of God, and yet received disdain and anger toward their behavior from Jesus.
He made us as we are. He knows us more intimately than we could imagine. Why try to fake it? Why try to be something you aren't? He isn't impressed by those focused on playing by the rules to earn His favor. Seek after Him to allow yourself to be shaped into what He wants you to be. Don't be afraid to take the rules to His word and evaluate whether or not they are true. We each have a different ministry and calling. Embrace that!
Ponder this: what are some rules created by man, and what rules by God? (For instance, is there a "right" way to be saved?) Please, share your thoughts! I want to learn what you think.
And also: what does God require of us?
As far as I can tell, what God requires of us is to "do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly" with Him (Micah 6:8). In addition, a "broken and contrite heart He does not despise "(Psalm 51:17).
So many times we get tied up in all the legalism. Dwell in His presence and discover what He desires from you.
We can't ever keep ourselves clean...sin is a part of life on earth. So stop trying, and rest in Him. Allow Him to wash your feet and cleanse your soul to a bright sparkling pure white, accomplished from the work He did on the cross.
P.S. This book, Plan B by Pete Wilson is fantastic!! The cover says: "what to do when God doesn't show up the way you thought He would?" So much great insight on God and life after the Plan A has passed. You can find out more about this book here
Um..yeah. Doesn't work that way. Talk to Joshua, in the bible. Poor guy had one bad thing happen after another, yet he NEVER FALTERED in his integrity and devotion to God. If anyone earned grace or righteousness, it would have been him.
Also, clearly, this method didn't work out exactly for me, either. (see the P.S. below)
My devotion this morning was on the rules that we as Christians looove to come up with. Yet Jesus seemed to put higher regard on realness and honest devotion to Him. Think of the thief on the cross- he didn't have to read a brochure, or sign up for a class, or even be baptized- all we know is that in Luke 23, the thief asked Jesus to remember him once He got to His kingdom, and Jesus said "today you will be with Me in paradise." Done.
Think of the Pharisees, who displayed their spirituality on their sleeve to earn the pleasure of God, and yet received disdain and anger toward their behavior from Jesus.
He made us as we are. He knows us more intimately than we could imagine. Why try to fake it? Why try to be something you aren't? He isn't impressed by those focused on playing by the rules to earn His favor. Seek after Him to allow yourself to be shaped into what He wants you to be. Don't be afraid to take the rules to His word and evaluate whether or not they are true. We each have a different ministry and calling. Embrace that!
Ponder this: what are some rules created by man, and what rules by God? (For instance, is there a "right" way to be saved?) Please, share your thoughts! I want to learn what you think.
And also: what does God require of us?
As far as I can tell, what God requires of us is to "do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly" with Him (Micah 6:8). In addition, a "broken and contrite heart He does not despise "(Psalm 51:17).
So many times we get tied up in all the legalism. Dwell in His presence and discover what He desires from you.
We can't ever keep ourselves clean...sin is a part of life on earth. So stop trying, and rest in Him. Allow Him to wash your feet and cleanse your soul to a bright sparkling pure white, accomplished from the work He did on the cross.
P.S. This book, Plan B by Pete Wilson is fantastic!! The cover says: "what to do when God doesn't show up the way you thought He would?" So much great insight on God and life after the Plan A has passed. You can find out more about this book here
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