the Lord, myself, and hope

It's been a bit since I've posted anything, and I've got some ideas bouncing around in my head...but for now, I have scattered ponderings. Here ya go!

"And the strictness of the rejection that He demands of me allows for nothing to remain in my life but my Lord, myself, and a sense of desperate hope. He says that I must let everyone else come or go, and that I must be guided solely by my relationship to Him." (Oswald Chambers)

...my Lord, myself, and hope. Let everyone else come and/or go....

Recently I've been aware of how easily I become consumed by other people's difficulties. I attempt to help them by taking on their burden, which was never really meant to be mine. In the process, I become unable to manage my own life. By not being present and participating only minimally in my own life, I give up the ability to enjoy what is happening right now. While helping others can be a good thing, like anything else, in excess it is not what's best for us.

Without anyone or anything else, who am I? I am the Lord's.
What do I enjoy? What do I need to do for me? (This is my attempt at showing up for my life)  :)

I enjoy....reading lighthearted "chick lit" books, making music, funny movies, sitting/dreaming/napping in a hammock, dressing up to go out, fall weather, pumpkin patches, music/beer/movies in Market Square, playing board games that make me laugh, shaving my legs, painting/repurposing things around the house into new decorations, snuggling with my kiddos, campfires...

Things I need to do to keep my life in order....time with GOD!, pay bills on time/manage money well, keep laundry folded/put away, listen more than I speak, stay out of things that don't concern me, be trustworthy and have integrity, keep car clean and maintained, take care of house maintenance needs and ask for help when needed, REST in TRUSTING God's provision. Always! I belong to Him and am precious to Him, and He is faithful to care for my every need, usually without me even asking.

So these are my thoughts on how to work at becoming the me HE made...on being simply myself, with Him, and with a desperate sense of hope. What do you need to do to show up for your life? What do you need to do for you?

I trust YOU

Sometimes, we get caught up in emotions, and get forgetful. Have you ever been overtaken by fear? I've always been a fearful person, I'm just wired that way I guess. God has mightily defeated many of my fears, but every once in awhile something pops up, and reminds me that I'm depending on myself more than trusting in Him.

Nothing, nothing is more terrifying than the thought of (or actually) losing someone you love. I've experienced that a few times, especially when my husband died. Terror. Helplessness. The feeling completely incapacitates you. Your vision is clouded by fear. It's a scary place to be.

Tonight I was struggling with some fear...and I felt God speak to my heart with this: "are you going to carry on with this fear, or remember my track record?" So many, many times in the Bible, God does these crazy miracles to protect people from harm. Over and over He states that He is the protector, that we don't have to be afraid. He has faithfully protected me from so much, especially in the last few years. Why do I forget??

So am I gonna be afraid? Or lay my fear at His feet and trust Him? All I have to do is look at the ways He has proven His faithfulness to me and it's an easy choice. When I realize that I can't get through whatever it is on my own, that not only do I need Him, but I really NEED Him to carry me...that's when good things get started. Healing things.

I limit Him so easily. I forget that He is all powerful. Nothing, no one can ever get to me without His approval. And I am His beloved daughter. I'm special to Him. So every time that fear decides to rear it's ugly head up at me again, I'm going to throw my hands up and surrender. "I trust YOU."