Lately, God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit have become real to me in a way I'm sad to admit they haven't before. I have found this week that the Lord gives me certain thoughts/scriptures in the mornings that I can call upon later as the situations warrant. For instance, I have a list of scriptures I copied down regarding waiting for the Lord to give direction. One day, I looked up a verse in Psalm 37. I ended up reading all of the Psalm 37. Verses 1-7 seemed absolutely perfect. I wrote them down to be able to look at them throughout the day. One part says to simply dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. I feel that is what my life is about right now, for the most part. Another verse says to not fret when others prosper. When I see all my friends getting jobs they love, it leads me to feel lousy. So that verse really applied to me. It helped soothe me when friends asked why I hadn't yet found a job.
The really cool/fun part occurs later that day. I was reading a book on parenting "angry" children using the scripture (The Heart of Anger by Lou Priolo ). REALLY tough book. Essentially, you have to "remove the plank out of your own eye" before getting the splinter out of your child's (Luke 6:42). I have struggled with losing my temper and overwhelming anger. I have good days and bad days. But I felt very convicted after reading the beginning of that book. I was wasting time before bed, looking through the nightstand drawer, and pulled out one of Mike's smaller bibles, not frequently used. I flipped through it to look for any notes that may have remained. I started reading a particular section and as I'm reading I realize- "hey, this is Psalm 37!" It was a different version (the living version). I chuckled and thought, "Lord, you must really want me to get this!" I kept reading, past where I had read before, which was only to verse 7. The VERY NEXT VERSE, Verse 8 said- "Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper- it only leads to harm."
Now, if I had read that in the morning, and I may have, I totally didn't get it. It didn't get into my brain at all. Because it wasn't what God had for me at that time. Later on, when I needed to hear it, He took that SAME Psalm, and made it come alive by speaking to the concerns of my heart.
Is this not proof that His Word is living? Hebrews 4:12 says: "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."
I have been reading the Bible off and on for several years. Only recently have I prayed for and received a desire to want more from my relationship with Christ, and from His word. One of the blessings of being single is the ability to fall completely in love with Christ.
More and more He has opened my eyes to the subtle and not-so-subtle things He is trying to teach me. Somedays I notice how everything is connecting- the devotions I read in the morning, the ways I am able to encourage my friends, the bible studies I do with my church ladies...He is speaking to me!!!! I love it! I am so excited and passionate about Him.
So to those of you who are at your in-between-times, your stranded-in-the-desert-times, your day-between-the crucifixion-and-resurrection times--I'm right there with you. I have no idea what God is doing. I don't know why it feels like He is tarrying. But while I'm waiting, I'm remembering that He is always on time. I'm trying to rest and trust in Him. And He is rewarding me with greater intimacy with Him then I have ever known. For that, I am thankful.
To those who wonder why I do not yet have a job...I say this:
"was it not clear to you that my right place was in my Father's house?"
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