I. Am. Exhausted.
Well, it is 1 in the morning, officially Halloween.
Finishing up a term paper, although I am using the term "finishing" loosely. Still have a bit to go. It's due Monday so I guess tomorrow will be the big day/night to get it done. In between church and evening festivities. Geesh.

Recently I have been very mellow/sad. Not exactly sure why. Some days can be so great, some not so great. Isn't that the life of a woman? :) Hormones are just wonderful, eh?
But the thing that I have the hardest time hashing out is being ok with feeling this way without having a definite reason, despite the fact that I have been given so much I should be jubilant all the time.
I mean, it should be a mind over matter thing, right? We have been given eternal life! I have two beautiful children! I am somewhat successful in nursing! I just bought yummy hummus! So why so blue?
Pondering further, I realized how many scriptures are in the word regarding feeling that way.

Psalm 34:18- The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 73:26- My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 22:24- For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

So, obviously I am not the first person to feel down :P
People have been brokenhearted or sad since the beginning. My guess is Eve was probably a bit depressed, to say the least, after getting them kicked out of Eden! (I can't even imagine how that felt!) My amazing plethora of emotions was created within me when I was made in the womb. So no emotion that I feel is beyond God, nor does he look upon it with "disdain." He is right there, maybe sad with me. So many times it talks about how he is there in times of trouble. And, unlike myself, He can see into the future to when I will feel joy again. :) Knowing me, it'll be Monday or something. Can we say mood swings?? :)

For now, as we our called to bear with one another in love...I think maybe I should grant the same to myself, understanding that this too shall pass.