What a difference 10 years makes...

On the way home, driving I-40 with the windows down, "Yellow" by Coldplay blaring...I did some reminiscing.

This same time 10 years ago I was cruising around town holding hands with the hottest guy I knew listening to that same song. A year later I became his wife. I felt like I was learning how to fly.

10 years later, I'm his widow. So mind-blowing. So much excitement and hope in that beginning. Totally innocent of what was to come. I had to learn how to fall.

In some ways, I live life differently now. More willing to do things that scare me, to take risks, to take leaps of faith. Some days I'm strong, some days I'm weak, but I've learned to be more patient with myself. I've seen how fragile and transient life is: we're never promised tomorrow. Each day truly is a gift, and a gift to be used well because once it's gone you can't reclaim it. I don't want to make it to 85 and feel like I let my life slip by, I want to live presently each day.

Although my outlook is a little different, I still have remnants of that innocence and hope inside what I fondly call "my little girl heart." I don't want to live with the fear of losing other loved ones. I want to have hope for each new day. I choose optimism. You may say I'm not realistic: I'm just choosing to hope, even if things look a little bleak.

The marvelous thing that hit me this morning is that God works ALL THINGS for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Everything. It did not say, God works everything except that stupid thing you did when you called ______ a ______. Or everything except that time you lied to your boss. Or when tragic, hurtful, awful things happen...He works those for our good!!!

But...but...don't I have to do something? I mean, surely that's too good to be true. I've done lots of dumb stuff, I've been heartbroken, I've hurt others, and really? ALL those things He is gonna work out in my favor???

It just doesn't make sense. But HE is GOD. He's so far above us we'll never understand it. How does He work everything for my good? I have no clue. What I do know is that He chose me before I chose Him, and when I bound my hand to His He promised He'd never let go. And He keeps His promises.

So let's live each day knowing how precious it is! No matter what is going on in your life, remember HE is working everything out in your favor. The story doesn't end here. We're learning to fly.